On Rest and Doing the Thing
"Is it worth it?" "Yes."
What is the one thing that brings your soul to life? Can you picture it? Is it an answer that you have locked and loaded? Ready to go? Answer with your gut. (In the comments is fun. I’d love to get these conversations moving on Substack!)
Why are you not doing that thing?
Think about it for a second. I’ll wait.
We all have our reasons. Maybe it’s money or time. Maybe family or self esteem or motivation. Maybe it’s just too impractical. Maybe you are so mentally burned out that you have nothing left to give. I understand this more than you know.
But friend, what if there’s life and energy to be had in something NEW?
What if the mental overwhelm exists not because you already have too much to do, but because you are chasing after the wrong things?
Please don’t misunderstand. There’s no judgement in my words here. Only encouragement to follow the Wonder. I get that this can be considered a luxury. You may work three jobs and don’t have the space to do something that may seem frivolous. Pursuing what’s right for you will likely come with a cost, for sure. And of course I’m not advocating for pursuing something selfish at the sake of others.
But don’t we all benefit when someone is their unadulterated, fully-created, completely-without-apologies self? You are YOU for a reason, and what brings light to your eyes is intricate and intentional. It’s not easy;
It’s hard, being completely yourself. Others don’t always like it. You have to do some work. But bear with me—if you don’t have to fight against what pulls at you within the depths of your soul, isn’t that a different kind of rest—even if it takes work? You aren’t meant to burn out. You are meant to rest. And rest deep within your soul is a different kind of Sabbath. That kind of rest can really make the soul sing.
Let’s talk about how we make our souls sing.
Shout out to Junius Johnson of The Classical Mind for a lovely conversation in October at the annual Hutchmoot convention. We talked about higher education and intellectual pursuits intertwined with the arts. His emphatic “Yes” when I asked if my Mdiv from Duke Divinity was worth it will live on in my brain for years to come.
Blessings, friends…it’s worth it.
Oh, I love that you got that wholehearted affirmation for your M.Div! What a gift. 🥹
So my gut answer? I think I feel most alive in October, not just for the Hutchmoot of it all, but because I have multiple opportunities to make thrift store costumes and hang out with the kind of friends that throw Hobbit Day parties and go to the Ren Faire. It's creative, it's a little bit silly, it's so full of joy before the long dark.
Running, that's the thing. It's a weird dynamic. I give you mentally strained, I can be tired, perhaps the weather is not the best, and it's difficult to find the motivation to do it but once I get up and move and especially afterwards there is that feeling of I'm so glad I did that. It lets me know I'm alive, it lets me know that I still have some gas in the tank, and with winter approaching it lets me know that I can tolerate the elements. It's also the time that I get certain feelings processed in my head, I joke to myself sometimes that if someone were to look at at me while I'm running, they can't tell that I've been crying if I'm sweating.
Now thinking back about the cold and running , part of it is a macho thing, part of it is allowing me a greater freedom of movement, but I will frequently run in the cold with my arms exposed. Feeling the cold and numbness in my arms makes me feel alive. Of course the problem is is that once I stop running and I stopped generating all that heat I get cold very quickly and it can easily take 30 minutes to an hour to warm back up.
Now depending if I remember to come back and do so , don't get me started on how I feel about plants.